I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
