Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
