Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize