how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
