Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
You work out of a Hotel?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
