and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
