idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
