glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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