I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
