I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Come see our sink grown plant.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You need Xanax blowdarts
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
