Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
birth control should be required to get into college
she peed on how many people?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
