no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
In other news, I just burned my penis
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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