i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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