my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
