We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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