I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
