I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
