You work out of a Hotel?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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