I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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