And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
