Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
