It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
BRING THE BAGELS
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
