i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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