I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
