on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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