But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
