about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
