If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
