didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Edward fifth and chaser hands
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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