Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize
