so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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