I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
