If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
If I die, sorry about rent.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
