Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
