turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
