If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
