I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
