no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
