That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
