I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
