I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
