we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
We're too hungover to prance.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
