I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
