Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
where does the pee come out of this thing
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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