This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize