You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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