Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
