i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize