hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
