I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
