yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize