Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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