and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
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