I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
