bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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