just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
