I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
