um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize