apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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