I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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