I'm gonna have a badass scar
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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