at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
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