I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
