Dude my mom stole all your condoms
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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