So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
