the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
