I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
